I was 21 years old with about 9 months of steadily seeking God. Battling inside my mind and heart to continue in God's path I experienced cleansing of my conscience and purifying of my heart. I confessed my sins and made significant progress to restore damage I had done. I began serving God at a new level embracing feelings of mourning and grief instead of shunning and avoiding them. I began accept the weaker part of me only to find its strength. I learned how serving others provided serious spiritual conditioning opportunities. I had no money, car, job, or even a bicycle. I was unemployable and nearly homeless. Yet I had tapped into something I did not understand nor could explain, but knew it was everything. Today I believe it has something to do with Heaven and eternal life.

1 Timothy 6:6 Now godliness with contentment is great gain. 7 For we brought nothing into thisworld, [d]and it is certain we can carry nothing out. 8 And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content. 9 But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and harmful lusts which drown men in destruction and perdition. 10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.

Like many American 21 year olds, I went to college. Getting to the point, I got distracted and God became a lesser priority. I slowly became more and more empty or dry inwardly. I prayed, but rarely. I though about God, but less. My social situations almost depleted of true God seekers. My surroundings and influences became less and less Heavenly. I questioned whether God really existed. I began to doubt my previous experience.

Desperation brought me back to repentance (seeking to grow with God, God reliance). It didn't take long before I had tapped right back into my previous experience and knew it was real. It's a difficult path to walk being with God, when it seems like no one else is doing it. Yet for me, its not just a matter of comfort, but sanity. The more I strive to grow the closer I get to that Heavenly experience and the more I pursue the ways of the world closer I get to misery. For me, these have been facts, not theory. And these facts have been validated by many others I have helped.