This process is based upon spiritual experience, the Bible, psychology, and epistemology.
Our relationship with God is dependent upon our choice. Our choice is dependent upon our knowledge, awareness, and beliefs. Discernment is a skill that needs to be developed.
In the beginning can be much confusion and uncertainty. We can deepen our awareness and understanding of God's character. Experiencing God's character can help us grow in our understanding and faith. Their exists specific instructions within the Bible that can guide us more directly into God's grace. Since sin is in us all, we all will have inclinations (pride, fear, sloth, resentment, selfishness, greed, etc.) to resist this course of action. Transformation means we will be different. If you are humble, flexible, and willing to experience spiritual transformation and know God, this process can help.
We can't understand God without spiritual understanding because God is spirit.
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Job 5:2 Resentment kills a fool, and envy slays the simple.
Ephesians 5:17 Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.
Matthew 7:26 But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand.